I hate goodie bags. There I’ve said it. I also hate kids meals and the general glut of toys that my kids have. For every toy I had growing up, they must have 10. I think this overabundance of toys is ruining my kids’ imaginations, and the imaginations of children all over the world.
My kids have too many toys. They have too many stuffed animals (I had one which I cherished. One of my kids has not one, but three different stuffed leopards. To say nothing about dogs, rabbits, parrots and even the odd bear. They each have about 5 construction kits of different kinds. Lego, lego and more lego. Magnets, Lincoln Logs… Thanks to the tons of cheap goods we get from China, everyone can afford to give their kids toys. Everyone can also afford to give all their friends’ and relatives’ kids toys. And not cheap toys either, but large, sophisticated toys. My kids have between them not one, but 5 electronic toys that teach them how to spell.
And those are the ‘better’ toys. Kids meals. If I haven’t already said that I hate the toys in kids meals, then I’m saying it now. My kids eat the kids meals only for the toy. Great marketing, of course. Recently my wife and I decided that the kids can order the kids meals, but not the toy. So one of my kids refused to eat. Which pretty much proves that its not about the food, its about the toy.
Which brings me to my favourite bug bear: Goodie bags. I think I’m actually afraid of goodie bags and how they make my kids behave. A short while back, we were at a friend’s house attending the first birth of their son. He was utterly adorable, but eventually we had to leave. It didn’t look like goodie bags were on the agenda which was a releif. The couple was not from the US, and I was hoping that they hadn’t heard about the goodie bag custom. As we were heading out the door, I was utterly mortified when my daughter said she had to talk to the hostess. I was delighted that she might want to thank the hostess for a very nice party. Boy was I wrong. She said “I didn’t get a goodie bag.” I was embarassed beyond belief. Fortunately for all, there was in fact a goodie bag, and I was delighted that it contained only one toy, a plastic saxaphone.
We’ve even had conversations where we tell them that we are going to a party, and they ask if they’ll get a goodie bag. We explain that the purpose of the party is not the goodie bag, but to enjoy time with friends, and of course that makes no sense to them…
Most of the goodie bags we get are full of cheap toys. I should know, I’ve helped my wife with so many of them… Oh, and candy, which somehow rubs salt into the wound. My kids seem to have no trouble remembering each toy they got, and never remembering to put them away. So we always have toys underfoot.
And the goodie bags seem to have gone beyond just birthday parties to any event where kids gather. My son goes to afterschool care at the Y, and they had an end of year party. Where all the kids attending (including the ones who don’t go to the Y) came back with a goodie bag.
So we have so many toys, there is no place to put them. We have endless battles about putting toys away. I’m sure other parents do the same thing. We even said that if toys weren’t put away, they’d get banished to the garage. It didn’t have much effect: they just switched to other toys. Finally, in frustration, I filled 4 large boxes with toys and stacked them in the garage. My kids complained for a while. Its now months later, and they are doing fine without the toys. Which proves something…
My final gripe is that I think that having too many toys is bad for my kids’ brains. When I was growing up, when we finished playing with toys the way they were designed to play, we switched to what I call inventive play. We made things up, and we made the toys do things they weren’t designed to do. For instance, my son using his magnet set to try and create a train out of his toy cars. But today more often than not, when a kid gets bored with one toy, she simply switches to another. No invention. No practice…
So we’ve stopped buying our kids toys. We are thinking more in terms of one really ‘good’ toy rather than lots of cheap toys.
What do you do with your kids?
You goodie bag comments really strike a cord with me.
Ooops, didn’t complete my thoughts in the last post.
I haven’t thought about goodie bags ruining my kids’ minds. My kids actually have to care enough to play with them to have their minds ruined. To my kids, the thrill of goodie bags is in the opening, anticipating what are in them. That typically lasts for, at best, 5 minutes, and forgotten. What a waste! If we have so much of disposable income, then we should put it in good use. Or at least not destroy the environment with more useless plastic. I put my thoughts in practice a couple of times. One year for my kids’ birthday parties, I declared “No goodie bags”. All the parents cheered me on and told me I did a good thing. But alas, no one followed suit. I was dreading to have to deny the kids who would come up to me for goodie bags. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought. I am sure I have earned myself the nickname of “the cheapest auntie in town”. Oh well, so be it.
Next, I want to stop throwing kids birthday parties…
Great blog!
I moved toys to large shelves in the garage. We bring out a few at a time. This has also led to my kids just running around chasing each other (play sans toys!!). At first I thought this was a mistake and that I needed to introduce more toys to get them to be calmer, but now I think, it may be OK for them to spend some time randomly chasing each other.
The toy glut also means there is lesser attachment, so I am able to get rid of the cheap and somewhat useless toys right away.
I try to populate the goody bags with usable stuff – play-doh, bubble stuff, pencils etc. and then an odd match box car. I have also tried to give a small book or a coloring book etc.
But after we go thro two birthdays in 6 weeks or so, I find myself a little depressed over the utter waste of some of the gift giving and return gift giving… I think there is a real market for presents and goodies bags items that are in the $5 range , are of some use and are in some sense disposable and yet exciting to kids.